...or perhaps I should just say "not our yes... YET!"
We got the call from Hope Cottage Wednesday, and found out they chose another family. Mrs. N was sweet in her delivery and wanted to make sure we knew it wasn't a rejection; there is a sense of rejection with each 'no.' However, it's short lived because we are confident in the profile we created and the letters we wrote. We know we put our heart and soul into those pages, and feel it portrays us well... if a person doesn't choose us based on what we put in our profile, then it's clear to me we are not meant to be bonded to them forever. So, we were glad to find out Wednesday and not have to wait until Friday to let go of this possibility. **sorry you did :)**
Here's what the last few days looked like. Wednesday- I got the call and immediately called Jake. We didn't say much but were able to meet up for a quick hug at a gas station since I was close to his work. A simple, "you okay?"---"yea, you okay"..."yea" conversation took place. Then on about our day. 7 pm he came home with papa murphy's pepperoni pizza and 2 sides of cookie dough!! We ate pizza, baked cookies, drank dr. pepper, and discussed our emotions. We realized we hadn't been "too consumed" with this idea. But when we found out this wasn't our time, we both felt a sense of relief just to know, the wait alone is enough to kill ya! Also, we realized as "not consumed" as we had been--we were both secretly planning our trip out to El Paso, picturing the family, wondering if it was a boy or girl, hoping and wondering if this was IT. Finding out this wasn't our time is hard; but this is adoption, and this is what it takes. It's an emotional roller coaster and we feel honored to be a part of it. We went to bed exhausted and had a wonderful night sleep. Apparently, even if we aren't fully aware, our mind is constantly running a hundred miles an hour with the what-if-it's-us of adoption.
Thursday nights are date nights in the Piatt house and last night was no exception. We went to fuzzy's with a coupon and hit the 7:30 showing of The Odd Life of Timothy Green. To our surprise the guy only charged us 3.50 because he thought we were in college... I'll TAKE it. :) We really enjoyed the movie, it was sweet and beautiful. We both anticipated having a good cry, and both admitted to needing one; however, a few tears here and there and it was just a sweet little movie. Then home to bed. Jake prayed over us, and I slept until 11 am. My body always shows me when I'm stressed... sleeping 12 hours is not easy to do!
I woke up feeling very rested and ready to completely move on. We are disappointed but we are not disappointed with this specific child, this specific "no"... we are just so ready for it to be our turn, our baby, our story, our YES! We are confident the Lord has a special child for us-- we are just ready to meet them. In the mean time... please know we feel very blessed by this process. The Lord has been so very sweet in sustaining us and giving us EXACTLY what we need through each step of this crazy experience.
I love you all. Thank you for your prayers and thanks for reading.