Saturday, September 15, 2012

rat-a-tat-tat

So this journey we are on is a crazy one for sure. Tonight I chose a very interesting way to document and express how I feel. I never really thought I'd get tattoos.. always thought they were beautiful and looked great on other people. But I realize, I just never had anything move me in a such a tremendous way that I needed to permanently display it on my body. The struggle of infertility, the craziness of adoption, this beautiful mess of a life changed my mind. I feel I've had victories, some small, some big, but I definitely have plenty to say. The world I'd created for myself completely fell apart with the flood of infertility- but now I stand, proud, strong, full of joy, and inked. 

The tattoo on my left arm says "Steady my heart"--- it's from the Kari Jobe song, which I posted in a previous blog. (listen here) It's beautiful and my exact prayer to the Lord. I try not to get lost in the outcome or circumstances anymore-- my prayer now is through everything, the Lord calms my anxious heart and calls me to desire more of Him. Even when it's hard- what's good and what gets broken, happens just the way He plans. 

The tattoo on my right wrist is known among the blog world as the symbol for Infertility Awareness. The ancient symbol of a spiral represents movement, action, creation, and a journey. Within the spiral the heart is a symbol of love, life, and happiness. I didn't choose this to brand us as "infertile".. it's a journey I cannot deny and no longer want to. I accept the course our life has taken and I'm grateful for where I am today. The freedom I find in this symbol is that my life, love, and happiness is really pure joy and unshakeable faith in Jesus Christ. He is the beginning and end of my journey- my ultimate joy is no longer hinging on whether or not we have biological children. 

It was a really fun night! Hope you enjoy the photos :)


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