this conversation definitely is NOT getting easier.
So, truth be told, this process is hard, scary, frustrating, heartbreaking, annoying, beautiful, humbling, freeing, consuming, and craaazzzy. We are disappointed and also know in our hearts our baby is coming. We trust and believe the Lord has a perfect plan and a sweet baby in mind for us, which will include a sweet birth mother choosing us. However, it's hard to stay positive.
I didn't picture our profile being shown this many times in just a few months and I'm finding it a bit overwhelming. I thought it would be longer stretches of "no activity." I'm not sure why, but this idea frustrated me--why so many 'no's' soo fast? But I know if we weren't having any activity, I'd be frustrated about that as well. Bottom line- I need a heart change! Also, with this 'no', I'm definitely feeling the rejection. I haven't struggled a whole lot with this emotion; yet, today I find myself asking "why the hell is nobody picking us?!?!?!?!!" pardon my language, but it's the truth. We put our heart and soul into our profile, but I just find myself feeling "if they could just meet us, know us, see how we are with each other, see how we are with kids----they'd know, they'd pick us- they're never going to know just by that stupid book!" I think this as if they didn't choose another family based on just their "stupid" book.
**This is stupid- somebody pick us, please!**
Okay, now that I've got that off my chest... let's dial it back. It most definitely is NOT a stupid book, and somebody will pick us based on everything we poured into those pages. We haven't done anything wrong, and we are not being rejected for something we aren't... somebody else was picked for something they are. Someday we will get the ever exciting "they picked you!!" phone call, while someone else is getting the "sorry".. we will be the OTHER family when the time is right. Which brings joy to my heart today-- I'm so thankful this sweet baby is finding a forever family. Somebody was chosen today, and this little baby will fill the empty arms of a waiting family. Today, I'm choosing to celebrate with the other family.
**still no news on the paternity test of the sweet 2 month old in their TLC home. Fingers and toes crossed!!
Also, north texas giving day is upon us...
maybe you'd like to donate to Hope Cottage!