Saturday, October 6, 2012

Is this real???

I've been meaning to sit down and blog but really just didn't even know what to say. I have plenty of time to write, he's a wonderful sleeper and is perfectly content 95% of the time. I've just been in a state of shock (the good kind). We are finally settling in to life as a family and can tell he's really getting comfortable with us and his new home. He responds to our voices and is very interested in everything we are doing. He is really enjoying spending quality time with Jake since he's been off this whole time (yesss!).

I still find myself looking at him in such awe and think "is this real"... "is he finally here??" Such a long road and man was he worth the wait. I don't know exactly how to explain how perfect this feels, but it's almost as if the pain and sorrow of waiting and waiting is quickly fading. I remember infertility and the ups and downs of the adoption process, trust me, I remember feeling hopeless so many stretches along the way; however, he fits our family so well- it's as if it all makes perfect sense. The road we traveled was bumpy and seemed off course, it never felt "right".. until now. If we had to wait another 10 years for Carson, I'd do it, thank the Lord we didn't have to wait another minute to kiss this sweet child, but make no mistake- I'd do it, I'd wait for him. 

 *I Wished for You- by Marianne Richmond

I keep playing these glorious moments over and over- the day we got the phone call, seeing his picture for the first time, prepping his nursery, driving to go pick him up, and finally holding him! I never want to forget how perfect it felt, how at peace I am. It's really been a humbling and beautiful experience and I am so proud and very much in love with our son. 

Dearest Carson,

I am so in love with you. You are so much fun and we are loving every single minute with you. You are such a sweet boy. Everyone falls in love with you the moment they meet you! We've enjoyed getting to know you- learning your tired cry and your hungry cry. We love your many facial expressions and try very hard to capture them :) I apologize for the amount of pictures I'm taking of you, but you just get cuter every day and I cherish all of your precious moments. I have a hard time focusing on anything else because I just want to kiss you, play with you, and talk to you. Your dad asks me at least 4 times a night if he can wake you up because he misses you. I laugh and tell him no, but I feel the same way. I spent some time running errands and visiting a friend this morning, and I couldn't stay as long as I planned because I missed you waaay too much. I cherish the time we have together so much, and love when you rest your head on my chest. I love to see our bond growing daily and I'm already emotional thinking of the day you call me mom. You really are the cutest boy I've ever seen... we are taking you to church for the first time tomorrow and can't wait to show you off! I'm so excited to see you grow, but I also would be okay if time stood still, just for this moment.. just for this season.

I love you,
New Photos:

*Bracelet my sis-in-law bought me to replace my waiting bracelet. It has his date of birth, name, and placement date :) So thoughtful- I LOVE it.

*First hair cut- don't worry, it was just a little on his neck and top of his ears--- he loved it- smiled and laughed the whole time.

Dylan calls him Baby Carsons and desperately wanted to give him his "milk".

*love his side smirk*

He already loves being outside!- it was really pretty, about 79 degrees. 

*Our first family outing- hard to believe it dropped 30 degrees in a day!!!
(in the 40s)

Thanks for stopping by!!

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