1. Fall more in love with my Savior. Focus on things of Him. I'm praying what it means to truly love Him and desire more of Him. I feel like through infertility I had NO chance but to cling to Him. I learned how to have deep joy and sorrow by trusting in Him. We are now in a season of prosper and answered prayers, what does it look like to trust the Lord in this season?
2. Love, hold, and cherish Carson. Pray for him daily.
3. Challenge myself in my marriage. Fight the urge to be lazy, inconsiderate, and selfish by pressing into the Lord. I desire to wake up every day full of joy in my marriage. *this is not saying we aren't happy or doing well at this time* However, so often I feel exhausted by life and circumstances I just want a time out. I've learned this has a very negative affect on my heart towards Jake. (shocker)
4. Spend more time in the Word of God. I'm doing another Beth Moore study; however, I don't always do the day 1 on Monday. I tend to play catch up at the end of the week. It's not too much to ask of myself to read the portion of James daily! So, I'm starting with that!
5. Focus my attention on others instead of myself. By the grace of God I've found a lot of freedom with infertility, and the deep wounds are healing well. I still find myself in judgement of others when parenthood comes so easily and naturally to them. When anger and bitterness arise towards someone, I'm going to pray for them instead of justifying the ugly thoughts.
6. Confess more. Recent events in our world made me realize how scary secret sin can be. It can tear families apart and wreck your world. The Lord is so gracious to give us several people in our life in which we feel called to walk closely in all areas of life. I want to learn to use this blessing as a means to grow closer to Him. This happens in time, with patience, and commitment to one another.
7. Gossip less. This one is hard... I don't want to be a gossip. I don't want to be ugly towards other people, but it's so easy to fall into the trap of "christian gossip." It's gossip ladies, and it's hurtful.. let's stop. Please help me. I will not be a part of it.
8. Start Insanity and follow through with it for two months. (I started, hurt my back, then the holiday gluttony consumed me)
9. Train for the HH100 (here). Actually train, not just think about training tomorrow. Problem with my mindset is tomorrow never comes because it always becomes today.
10. Blog once a week! I don't even know how many people read this, but it's therapeutic for me. I started writing here to keep people up to speed on our process. I began writing for others, desiring to educate my close friends, and create a safe place to share my struggles. Now, I write for me. I've found myself through this online journal and I'd like to keep it up!
Draw Me Nearer