Friday, September 20, 2013

Getting our feet wet

I wrote my fears about open adoption last month (read it here). I have some wonderful news: we've been emailing with Miss K and we are loooooving it! Also, as we are entering this season of openness, I feel comfortable sharing her name. Kimberly, she signs her emails, Kim. So long Miss K, hello Sweet Kim!

Let me just express to you the joy communicating with her brings us. My heart is so full it may burst. Seriously, this whole adoption thing is going to kill me with joy! Just when I think my heart can't love this journey any more, the Lord is sweet to say.. try it My way, and it'll bring you deep joy you can't fathom. Boom. Hello, open adoption. Open adoption may not be for everyone, but when I confessed all my fears, I realized I was missing out on something great. I was not trusting the Lord with this aspect of our adoption story. So, we started with an email agreement to update her every month and continue uploading photos and videos to our photobucket. I was enjoying writing her and so proud to send photos and update her on Carson's development and quirks. I don't feel burdened or anxious when I check his special email account; I feel excited and grateful. I'm thankful she's willing to have a relationship with us. She makes it clear she's thankful to hear how Carson is, and specifically said, "I can't thank y'all enough for being awesome parents to my son and keeping me updated, not everyone would do that even if they said they would. thank y'all for that. I don't know how I would be able to go through life not knowing how he was or what a handsome baby boy he's becoming." I won't share too many of her words, we will keep most of our words private. Just know, the words we exchange are sweet, full of love, joy, and respect for one another.

We are planning to see her again in October and hopefully meet her daughter this time. Carson has a half sister! So amazing.

I will confess I'm still anxious at times, this is an overwhelming new step for us. I'm continuing to ask the Lord for trust and courage to work towards this special relationship. Adoption is a humbling experience and continues to change my life for the better. We've experienced a little taste of openness (just getting our feet wet) and we are loving it.

Thank you Lord for this precious gift and opportunity to bring You glory. 

Carson, you bring us so much joy. We love you, 
Mom and Dad 

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