Friday, October 11, 2013

growth.

A few weeks ago, Jake was bathing Carson and said, "I really want Kim to know him." I chewed over his words for a few days and realized I felt the same way. We love Carson more than words can explain, and we enjoy seeing him develop. His personality is so sweet, even when he's rotten, he is a one year old after all! We are forever thankful for her decision to place him with us, and we love getting to know her. I posted about some fear (read here) I was experiencing about having a relationship with her. Let me just tell you, wow things change. Once I admitted my fears, they seemed so small. We love having an email relationship with her and decided to take things to the next level. We want her to know us. We emailed and asked if she could meet up, and she said YES. So, yesterday we drove to Hope Cottage and had a little picnic outside. The weather was beautiful! I wasn't as nervous going in to this visit as I have been in the past. The only explanation I have for this peace is growth. I have grown. The Lord has stretched, pulled, broken, repaired, and grown my heart. Starting early on through infertility He taught me to let go of my "normal expectations." So, guess what, for most people, a "normal" Thursday morning is not meeting up with their son's birth mother... for us, it was a privilege and a joy. Adoption is our normal. I am proud of our story, our journey, our family, our son, and our growing relationship with Kim. I'm always humbled by the reality someone actually chose us to parent their flesh and blood. Me, the crazy, ranting, emotional, run-on sentence typing, grammatically incorrect, me. I'm sure all 7 of y'all (thanks to my "official" followers) are ready for the good stuff. I'll get on with it. Here it is, in all it's glory: a very special, perfect, normal Thursday morning. 

Carson brought her flowers :)


We were honored to meet Carson's half sister. I do believe they resemble each other a bit. 






I love these photos so much. Pure joy. Carson was actually belly-laughing!


.
**sorry about the ivy Hope Cottage** I think it's ivy, is it ivy? Maybe I'll post later on my black thumb problems. Either way, sorry about the green stuff.. you still love us, right?
...

This little boy is loved by so many people. He brings joy to our lives daily. We are proud to call him 
our son. We love you, Carson! 


It was a beautiful day.. Sorry the picture is kind of dark. We sat on a blanket under a tree in front of Hope Cottage. Have I mentioned how much we love our agency?!?





Carson was a total ham, shocker.


He really enjoyed spending the morning with dada!
(Jake is letting him climb trees...another shocker)




The kids were antsy and not wanting to sit still for a picture, but we managed to get a few!





Adoption has grown our family and multiplied our ability to love. 



*hugs*


Our roles are different; our love for him is strong; together we are motherhood. 


I can't imagine how hard it is for her to say good bye. She was quiet and seemed less emotional this visit. She is so strong and says she doesn't want to cry in front of him. I admire Kim so much for her love and strength. Kisses to hold her over until we meet again. (Hope Cottage Holiday party in December)


Carson played hard! He fell asleep in the car for 20 minutes...


and then woke up with the sweetest smile:


We are thankful we get to grow in a relationship with Kim. We still don't know where we go from here. We are taking one step, one visit at at a time. She is very respectful of our relationship with him. She uses positive language, and seems to try and make us comfortable. She never takes her eyes off of him. I understand completely. I find it hard to take my eyes off of him as well. He is beautiful. He is loved. He is adopted.. he is our sweet Carson Wayne. Days like today make us hug and kiss him a little tighter. Our hearts are full. 

Thanks for stopping by.