Monday August 11, I spoke to our assigned ongoing CPS case manager. Before I get in to the details, let me just say there are so many people involved in fostering it's pretty hectic. We have our agency (amazing!), the boys have their attorney (she's great), they have a CASA worker (she's sweet), they had an investigator (more on her later), I had an email for a CPS branch person (still not sure who she was/is lol), a CPS transporter (takes them to and from visits), and now they have an ongoing case manager (we like her).
Aaaalright, so I hadn't actually spoken with their case manager, and I really needed some paperwork from her. I was under the impression she had it based on investigators initial drop off. Turns out she didn't have it, no big deal. In our first conversation (a month post placement) she asked how the boys were doing. She asked some specific questions and my heart sank... I told her, "I'm almost positive we've been calling the boys the wrong names." We got very detailed in our conversation and she confirmed we had in fact switched the boys names. I still wasn't convinced because I know we have been calling them the names the investigator told us... well, nope. Twin 1 was Twin 2 and Twin 2 was Twin 1. For a month we were calling them the wrong names.
I felt physically ill. Such a strange feeling, I felt like we had failed these boys. Now, in the same breath, I knew we loved them, fed them, clothed them, protected them, and cared for them; but, man, it was a hit to the heart. After all they've been through, we didn't even know their names. I know it wasn't our fault, but it took a few days to process.
Clearly the state isn't the most efficient. The investigator was wrong, it was a hectic night, and it's an easy mistake. The issue is, it went on for a month. one. whole. month. If CPS had called to check on us, or even come by for a visit, we could have corrected it sooner. Alright, well it's a mess we cleared up. Now it all makes sense.. They rarely listened when we called their name. (duh, wrong name.) When we were reprimanding one kid, the other one seemed stressed out. We thougth they had a weird protective relationship (which they kind of do), but turns out Twin 1 was upset bc we were using his name to correct his brother. For example:
"Twin 1 sit on your bottom." <Twin 2 is frustrated> Well, duh, he was like "I aaaaam sitting!!!"
Oh, man. FosterFail.
So, trying to relearn their names was seriously hard for us. Especially Carson. Sweet Carson. It was difficult convincing him! He kept correcting me by saying "no mommy, iss Twin 1." (He says "it's" like "isss." precious) So we kept working with him and telling him we were wrong and teaching him their new names. We were sitting around the table practicing their names. He went around and we pointed to them and he said "Twin 1, Twin 2, Mommy, Daddy," pause, points to himself and says, "Carson??" Like, am I still Carson??? It was so funny. Several times that week he would just stop and ask, "Carson Piatt???"
So, here we are almost 3 weeks later and we have it down. We all still mess up sometimes and call them the other name, but it's all okay. Also thankful we hadn't gone to the doctor yet, hadn't started Children's Day Out yet. We didn't have to call too many people and make corrections. We did, however, have some paper work, and some medical error reports. Ya know bc Twin 2 has asthma and an inhaler, but we thought Twin 1 was 2, so we gave him the inhaler. Thank goodness it wasn't a bigger deal.
Speaking of names. We can't show their faces or use their real names on social media, so here are our blog kids, because Twin 1 and Twin 2 just won't cut it.
It'll come in handy for my next posts. Stay tuned!